|
| The best Childrens show ever was Mr. Rogers, and the best of all of the Mr. Rogers episodes was the one where Mr. Rogers put on his sweater, sang his song, with all being right with the world. Then, with the tape still rolling (unbenownst to him) he put his head in his hands and sort of sighed "oh damn" into them. I don't know how that made it onto tv, if it was the real show or a clip, but I remember looking at his face and realizing how hard it is to make it in this world. Sorry for the sentimentality, but I'm going to the familiar, leaving what I know, and I am more nervous and apprehensive for this flight than any of the many crazy places I've been to in the last 3 years. I think I'm running out of places to go, things to motivate me; also, hopping in and out of peoples lives and expecting to be re-welcomed with no effort on my part can be a fairly jackass and selfish move. Beware thoughts that come knocking on blitzkrieg plane trips that get extended past your own imposed limits and make you think about life. The desire for place, for people, for roots is deep in me, contrapunctual to my flighty vagabond tendencies that are equally strong. Fear of committment has nothing on me, which makes my desire for it that much more painful when I turn my back on it. I see some of my friends moving on metaphorically and literally, and I see others with the same glazed deer in the headlights look I see in the mirror. This is part of the process, of growing up, of discovering who and what you are supposed to be, riding melancholy waves of depression to the next amount of manic energy. All my dedication to order can't seem to subdue this process, to tame manic introverted and extroverted tendencies; it just seems to happen. | | |
| When you are listening to a British Pop star singing about love who is the reincarnation of Freddie Mercury and find yourself nodding in agreement, perhaps rethinking your options would be a good idea.
What do you say, oh four people who read this? I give you the lyrics from Grace Kelly
Do I attract you?
Do I repulse you with my queasy smile?
Am I too dirty?
Am I too flirty?
Do I like what you like?
I could be wholesome
I could be loathsome
I guess Im a little bit shy
Why dont you like me?
Why dont you like me without making me try?
Well, that sums up my take on love at the moment.
To make life more interesting, people continue to give me advice, involving all of the following at various times
a) join a monastery
b) wander around shirtless (this is a given, not real advice)
c) "meet a cute firefighter chick and have hot firefighter sex, because you'll never know if it will be the last time you see each other" - somewhere, there's a line between kinky and morbid that may have been crossed here..
d) try something different, like dudes.
e) the NCMO (No Commitment Make Out)
Well, other than some early forays into b, I'm not doing so well, but that's ok; today I am channelling my inner domestic side (was going to write "housewife" and then decided that would get me kicked in the balls, by myself. I'm trying to be better ladies, I promise) by cleaning various things. As a break, because I cannot keep on task, I have the greatest book of all time. It's called Knots. I am learning all about Knots. my favorite so far?
the single fisherman, aka "the lovers knot". Or maybe the slipped sheet bend.
Definitely a day to go running naked.
P.S, I hate clowns.
| | |
| dum dum dum, the elections are coming... I can't wait until this shit is over. I think that whatever God was doing when he made me, he was leaning toward "interesting, with a large dash of fucked up." For instance, I believe I am an idealist, however, I am also a realist, and normally have a negative perception on things, both present and future. I also tend toward the bipolar manic depressive, to be solved by a) large amounts of working out or b) abject withdrawal/overscheduling my life or c) self-loathing, or d) travel. Shit. Also, in analyzing my life, both in general and relationship-wise, I come back to a recurring theme, fear of some shit. I have normally dealt with this by a) leaving or b) leaving. I am going to NYC. I have no idea why I am even going, but that's cool enough for me. However, I think we are in a depression, weak dollar, sub-prime crisis, et al: I decided to save all of my money from this coming season (I still plan on blowing the rest of my savings, fear not) and not spend it on travel (it was supposed to be new zealand, russia, argentian, etc) until I can get more bang for my buck. What the hell am I supposed to do now? So, after being away from awhile, and realizing that I am humanities gift to those who are confused, here we go, Steve's suggestions.
Dave: Keep going with the chew, I am intrigued. I am thinking it needs to be thicker/thinner or simmer for more/less time. Also, use it to subvert the military/industrial complex.
Andy: You are underemployed, just like me. Commiserate with word games. Also, I want to know more about Covenant history.
Amy: Keep dancing in the dark, whopper or otherwise.
Carol: Jesus woman, call me.
Christine: the Bjorlin "Voldemort" quote is accurate, except for it's on my hand, particularly, the ring finger.
Thompson: the waiter quote made you, once again, my personal, reigning hero. I've got nothing for you, except for maybe a bottle of jack daniels.
Jessie: You are doing fine. I am moving out to Colorado again in April. Catch you later
Lindsey: You're in L.A. No sagelike advice for you, jerk.
I don't have much sage-like advice, turns out, and what I do spew out, well, it tends to revolve around me.
If you want to see a great bluegrass band at 10pm thursday, let me know (Trampled by Turtles). They are rowdy, sing about booze, love, loss, and codeine. They are awesome. | | |
| Thoughts:
Open Primaries are good ideas- I am an independent, and got to vote for
Obama- no caucus(i), no forced choice of a party; I am the swing vote,
I am the swing vote, I am a walrus? (aside: is Dave Bjorlin keeping
xanga alive?)
Pat Buchanan had the most concise and compelling political arguments
and vision in three hours of political commentary I watched. Democratic
idiots (Anderson Cooper excepted) on the other hand seemed to mostly be
strutting around talking about momentum. When Buchanan made a divisive
point about Michelle Obama (taken out of context, but since when has
that mattered) and showed how important pride is to this country, a
black man, a white woman, and a white man (who was republican, no less)
all tried to step around his commentary and how it won't matter. If
this is how you explain a gut reaction that many will face, I will
explain how democrats have managed to lose two presidential elections
to a moron. If you are made to look like a fool by a bigot, repeatedly,
the bigot wins. And is smarter than you.Thank God this time Oprah is here.
| | |
| Blue Eyed Soul
Remember the Mountain Bed with Andrew Bird
Bob Dylan's 49th Beard
Hesistating Beauty with Bird
That's Not the Issue with Bird, Pat on banjo
Wishful Thinking
You Are My Face
Side with the Seeds
A Shot in the Arm
We're Just Friends
Kamera
Handshake Drugs
How to Fight Loneliness with Bird
Jesus, Etc. with Bird
Should've Been in Love
Pick Up the Change
Theologians
Walken
I'm the Man Who Loves You
---------------------------------
Via Chicago
Impossible Germany
She's a Jar with Bird
Say You Miss Me
Box Full of Letters
I'm Always in Love
Hate It Here with Bird, horns
The Late Greats
Red-Eyed and Blue
I Got You (At the End of the Century)
Monday
My Darling
Encore:
Can't Stand It with horns
Nothing'severgonnastandinmyway (Again) | | |
|
